Our Toddler's February

A day in the life of a toddler....

.... nourishing the body...

....napping (in her fort!)

 .....going potty with her lala (dolly)

..... our little cuddle bug....

Valentine's Day

"Yup, I've still got it!"

Looking out the window with mommy.

Loving her fort (courtesy daddy).

Bigos the center of attention (notice Natalka inspecting her ear).

Deep in thought....

Giving her dolly a bath.

Helping to carry puppy poo to the toilet for flushing :)

Our little helper....

Enjoying the little kitchen at Ikea...

Playing in her ball container... (yes, she got in there by herself)

Story time with mommy...

On a walk...

Helping to carry Pooper Scooper...

Read it and weep... wise beyond her years!  ;)

Learning all the time...


And some yoga poses with daddy...

Butterfly

cat/cow

twist

Am I Successful?

What is success for me?  Forget what I've been taught by society, by my education, by the media, by my family.  If I'm brutally honest with myself, what constitutes a successful life?  I'd have to say that it'd be a life lived to the fullest.  Ok, what does that mean, a life lived to the fullest?  No regrets. Every opportunity pursued.  Opportunity to do what?  Ah!  Opportunity to enjoy life, to have fun, to be happy!

And what makes me happy?

Sleep - 8-10 hours per night.
Reading - time to read about my topics of choice.
Writing/blogging - to process my thoughts and share my opinions, perhaps share knowledge as well.
Watching my favorite shows - to escape, decompress, learn, have a good laugh.
Snacking/eating favorite foods - healthy but delicious.
Being in the moment - watching nature, listening to music, yoga, coloring (!).
Making a difference in someone's life and being recognized and appreciated.

I've recently had an episode of global doubt as to my fulfillment in life.  Again.  It upset me especially because for years I told myself that being a mother would check off all the requirements I had for living a purpose-driven life.  And here I am, my daily priority being the well-being of my daughter, yet I keep feeling like the two of us are sort of hovering in a little black hole known as our home, and only occasionally do we take a peak at the outside world, usually via Oscar.

Apparently, this bothers me.  This sort of life feels more like a waiting room for something bigger and better than a fully lived life. Perhaps it's because I thrive on having goals to work towards.  But I suppose the kind of goals that motivate me have to be rather concrete.  "Becoming a better cook" is not going to do it for me.  Neither is "being there for my daughter."  I keep thinking that once we start homeschooling, I'll have regular goal-setting as part of our routine, and we'll have more concrete ways to show my accomplishments.  But then again, what if I'm just moving the target of happiness from here and now to soon or later?

Worst case scenario, I live a life without having made a noticeable contribution to society at large. Worst case scenario, I leave this world with a net zero impact one way or another, having lived a neutral life that at least didn't harm anyone.  Would that be so bad?

Two things wrong with this idea.  First, I know that the difference I've made already in the lives of various people has been on a small but note-worthy scale.  No, history won't reflect my contributions, but this brings me to the second thing wrong with this idea.  Am I so attached to my ego, to this current form I'm occupying, to want to have it recorded in history?!  Am I really that egotistical?

People say to learn about great minds, great movers and shakers to be inspired.  It has the opposite effect on me.  I inadvertently compare myself with the great figures of history and immediately notice that I fall short and simply cannot compare.  They actually don't inspire me at all, but rather depress me!  No, what I need is to start learning about everyday mediocre people, and how they are finding fulfillment, meaning, satisfaction in their ho-drum lives.

Because let's be honest.  Do I want to be "successful" in the conventional understanding of the word, even if it leaves me discontent?  Or do I really want to live at peace, in tranquility, fully content with my life, regardless of whether others see me as successful or not?  The answer is obvious, yet hard to apply.

Attachment and Discipline - January Update

In my introductory post about expanding Hodgepodge Parenting, I listed seven areas of interest that I hope to blog about.  After some reflection, I realized that this list could be narrowed down to five areas of interest by merging attachment parenting with gentle discipline, and by merging multilingualism and homeschooling.  The latter both deal with educating our daughter. The former both have to do with the underlying relationship Alex and I have with Natalia, and the overall parenting philosophy that determines what we do and how we do it when it comes to general daily care of our daughter.  So without further ado, here is how we are doing in this department as we kick off 2015.

Attachment parenting deals with several aspects of baby care that are ongoing: sleep, feeding, physical proximity, responding to baby's cries with love, being cautious of "baby trainers", and maintaining a balance in your life (ie. not overdoing it to the point of exhaustion or resentment). The seventh aspect of attachment parenting is actually the first, birth bonding, but since it is not ongoing, I won't be discussing it.

Physical proximity of parent and child is a key aspect of attachment parenting, as it involves several areas of life: breastfeeding on cue and extended (ie. past the one-year mark), cosleeping with baby (either sharing the same room or the same sleeping surface), and baby wearing.  The bottom line is that I want to be close to my daughter as much as she wants to be close to me.  It's really that simple. Yes, sometimes we have to put a little distance between us, but that's where the balance aspect comes in.  Overwhelmingly, my day and night is spent being close to her.

 Taking a nap with her dollies.

I choose to cosleep with Natalia for several reasons.  One, it makes nighttime parenting much easier. I never have to actually get out of bed when she wakes up, with the rare exceptions that I've had to get her some medicine, or back when I was overdoing it a little and practicing elimination communication at night and would get up to put her on the potty three times a night.  (The urge to pee would wake her up, and so her diaper stayed dry all night when I engaged in nighttime EC.)

But cosleeping is not just for mere convenience.  It's also been a wonderful bonding tool.  We get a lot more cuddles in this way.  It helps that we also breastfeed (Natalia is 14 months old, and the World Health Organization recommends nursing until at least age 2).  Because we keep our mattress (no bed frame) on the floor, she can engage her independence by getting off the bed in the morning to go get her favorite dolly, or at night to bring daddy a book to read before he goes to sleep in his room.

Which brings up a logistical consideration that perhaps some people may wonder about.  Alex doesn't cosleep with us.  There are several reasons for this.  One, he wakes up very early in the morning to go to work, and he is in charge of feeding and walking our dogs.  All of this can get quite noisy, and there is no reason to wake up Natalia before she is good and ready.

Two, sorry booboo - Alex snores, LOUDLY, and even I cannot tolerate the sound of his so-called "loud breathing" when I'm counting on silence to help me drift off to sleep.

Three, and this is a minor consideration but works to our advantage, its a space saver and budget helper that we do not need to live in a home with an extra room where we would "keep" Natalia at night.  Minimalism does play into this quite a bit.  I have no need for my "own" bedroom, since all I do in a bedroom is sleep.  I have a few drawers with my clothes, some more clothes hang in the walk-in closet that also serves as overflow for Natalia's toys that get rotated in, and that's it.  We have our laundry in the bathroom, and that's where I get ready in the morning.  We do our "TV watching" (generally on our laptop, or via the Roku player) in Alex's room.  There is absolutely no need for me to have my "own" bedroom, or for Natalia to have her own room. When she gets older, yes.  But not yet. (And for the uber curious, spousal intimacy does not require sharing sleeping quarters.)

Ok, so in addition to cosleeping and breastfeeding, I also like to wear Natalia in a carrier sometimes. Most days, she is running around free as a bird, especially around the house, ever since she became mobile at 8 months and started walking at 11.5 months.  Depending on circumstances, when we go out, she also walks around a lot.  But there are times when it just makes more sense for her to be up close and personal, right under my nose, so to speak.  When I'm vacuuming, or sometimes doing other chores that keep me on my feet, and Natalia either feels left out and wants up, or I simply want to make sure she doesn't get into anything while my attention is diverted, that's a great time for her to snuggle up to me in a carrier.  It comes with the added bonus of her getting an adult's eye view of what's going on in big people land.

Daddy is melting snow.  You gotta see that up close and personal!

 When we go on walks, I like to wear her instead of pushing her in a stroller.  For one thing, it's a pain to try to get the stroller set up, either by dragging it down a flight of stairs from our apartment, or by unfolding it after getting it out of the back of our car.  It's just much simpler and less hazardous to get her situated in a carrier before we leave. During the colder months, I also feel better about keeping her bundled up against me, with a big jacket zipped up around both of us, instead of trying to keep the wind off her face as she's bundled up in a stroller.  (I have had to do that when walking to the farmer's market for groceries, but it's not my preferred mode of transporting her!)

I will say that there is an additional benefit to wearing Natalia.  When we are in a social situation with a lot of strangers, people are less likely to touch her if her face is near my boob (though make no mistake, people still do, even as they feel me up in the process!).  Even better, people don't tend to ask if they can hold her if they see that she is attached to me!  The reason this is important is that we do not push her to go to total strangers before she is comfortable in their presence.  I don't care if it's a relative, if she doesn't know the person very well, she won't feel ok about being held by them, and we won't force her.   It's important for her to know that her primary attachment is and should be to her parents, and that all other relationships must be filtered through this trusted primary relationship with mom and dad.  Once she sees us interacting with the new person, with time she warms up to them and often is fine with a short visit in their arms.  But keeping her in a carrier prevents the awkwardness of having to say - even to little kids, maybe especially to little kids - "no, you can't hold her, no you can't carry her, she's not a doll!  She's a little person with her own likes and dislikes, her own personality, and you need to respect that!"  If she's in a carrier, we can just skip this exchange.

During naptime

Aside from physical closeness that comes with baby wearing, breastfeeding, and cosleeping, we have also begun the arduous task of figuring out the best way to start disciplining Natalia.  While we love her to pieces and she is the center of our universe, we do not want her to come to believe that she is the center of everyone's universe!  It is not healthy for a person to feel entitled.  Not only is it not nice, but it also sets the person up for disappointment when life proves to treat them like it does everyone else.  It has been difficult for me to know the boundaries between being loving and being permissive.  I am working on this.  That said, I need to clarify what I mean by discipline.  I do NOT mean punishment, as that is already too late in the game.  We shouldn't just wait for kids to mess up and then "teach" them not to do it again by punishing them.  That should be a last resort, if at all.

Instead, discipline at its core simply means guidance, teaching a child what is the right thing to do, how to do things, when, why.  Essentially, discipline is setting and enforcing boundaries.  So for example, while I love to give Natalia freedom to explore various activities, including drawing with crayons or even a pen, it is never going to be OK for her to experiment with this activity on the wall, on the furniture, on the floor.... In other words, we are in charge of maintaining boundaries to her freedom until she has developed sufficient self-discipline to stay within the boundaries on her own. If I don't want her to write with a pen on her dolly's face, then I need to not allow her to walk around the house with a pen in hand.  I can't just tell her once (or even repeatedly at this point) to only write on the paper and then punish her when she forgets or doesn't understand.  She is not mature enough to stay within the boundaries, and so it is my job to prevent problems from happening.

So this has been an overview, really, of where we are with attachment and discipline.  Starting next month I hope to keep it short and specific to any new developments since this writing.

Above we see Natalia helping mommy with dinner.

Hodgepodge Parenting is Branching Out!

I have decided to open up our family blog to the wider blogosphere.  After keeping the first year of this endeavor private and focusing on maintaining what's essentially been a virtual scrapbook of photos and videos, I've decided that I want to focus more of my time on a long-standing passion of mine - writing.  There have been a few written posts here over the past year, but with a limited audience, I tried to keep those to a minimum.  However, I'm ready to join the blogosphere of mommy bloggers as I share my thoughts on some of my favorite topics, especially as they influence my parenting in some way.  Here's what you can expect:

attachment parenting
gentle discipline
green living
raising a multilingual child
stay-at-home parenting
minimalism
homeschooling
spiritual independence/deism

That last one is a relatively new development that I finally feel ready to be open about.  I am a spiritual seeker, and I've spent years mulling over big existential questions.  It took motherhood to finally show me what's really important in life, what adds to authentic living and what doesn't, and that belief in God need not be limited to membership in an organized religion.

Homeschooling doesn't technically apply to us just yet, but since I take a long time to get used to anything (I'm a spirited adult, an outgrowth of a spirited child), I have begun to incorporate preschool activities into our daily routine.

Minimalism has been something I wish I had discovered years ago!  For me, it helps to have a label for things in order to better incorporate them into my psyche.  As it turns out, my mom has been a minimalist for years, but it wasn't until I discovered the term and concept online that I - and Alex - got on board.

Stay-at-home parenting didn't seem like much of a topic for me until I recently realized that it's going to take more effort for both me and Natalia to make friends.  If she were in daycare and I were employed outside the home, our social lives would not be an issue.  But since our domain is the home, I see that it is an issue worth considering.

Raising a multilingual child was a no-brainer for Alex and me.  For years we've said that any children we have will grow up knowing our respective native languages.  Luckily, I've since discovered an online presence of like-minded parents who are making an effort to raise their children as multilingual, seeing the benefits and embracing the challenges.  Natalia is learning Polish, Spanish, and English simultaneously, plus we use some signs with her to help us communicate.  If you're wondering, no, she is not "talking" yet, but this is a very fluid milestone, not something she just wakes up doing one day.  She does, however, communicate with us both through signs and a few proto-words, as well as gestures.

Green living has sadly taken a bit of a backseat since we downsized to an apartment, mainly because we stopped composting.  However, it is still an issue near and dear to my heart, and it gives me great pleasure when I can do something in an environmentally conscious way.  We use cloth diapers and elimination communication along with organic disposable diapers, as an example.  And as the blog title states - hodgepodge is my approach.  No extremes.  There are ideals, yes, but there's also real life.  No guilt, just ongoing effort and education.

Gentle discipline is something I'm learning about as Natalia has moved from the relatively "easy" phase of infant into toddlerhood.  Coming from attachment parenting, where a baby's cry is understood to indicate a need and not a mere whim, I'm having to learn new strategies as I lovingly set limits for Natalia while allowing her as much independence as possible.

And speaking of attachment parenting, it was a rough start (there are a few posts on the subject in the archives), but both Alex and I are now starting to reap the benefits of forming a secure attachment with our daughter.  For anyone interested, we are extended breastfeeding since Natalia is nearly 14 months old and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing "only" to the first birthday.  However, the World Health Organization recommends nursing up to the second birthday, and that is the goal I have undertaken.  Natalia and I also cosleep, which is absolute bliss and I'm so sad for babies (and parents!) who don't or can't embrace this type of nighttime parenting.  Finally, I wear Natalia in a carrier on walks and while vacuuming as a matter of course.  As she's become more mobile, she prefers to be running around instead.  (She started walking at 11.5 months old.)

So there you have it, an overview of my parenting strategy.  I hope over the coming months and posts, I'm able to share who we are and why we do what we do with anyone interested.  I know I've gained a lot of insight by reading about how other parents do what they do, and I just want to keep that synergy going!

Attachment Parenting Update

I thought I'd reflect on how the various aspects of Attachment Parenting have been working out in our home, along with a few non-AP practices (but ones that are in line with the AP philosophy).

Birth Bonding.

Obviously, this was a one time deal, but I've had the benefit of time to truly reflect on what went well and what didn't.  While I don't have a medicalized or a hospital birth to compare our natural homebirth to, I can't imagine having less control over my labor and delivery.  I am so grateful for having a midwife and birth assistant who respected the fact that this was MY birth, and MY body, and that they were there to facilitate and not dominate.  While I was disheartened at the fact that I couldn't have the water birth I had planned, I have made peace with it.  I also recognize now that the most painful part was indeed transition and pushing, and from what I read and have been told by other women, an epidural does little to alleviate the pain at the very end.  With that information in mind, and considering that I think I handled the contractions pretty well without medical anesthesia, I'd be inclined to go for another natural homebirth in the future, should we be blessed with a second baby.

Breastfeeding.

I am so incredibly thankful to my lactation consultant, Angela, who was my last straw before I was ready to resign myself to full time pumping with part time formula supplementation.  Natalia is now 8 months old, has been eating a variety of solid foods for over two months, and we continue to breastfeed on cue, day and night.  She nurses both for nourishment and for comfort, and it has been the easiest thing in the world! We now have a trans-Atlantic trip under our belt, and no time was spent worrying about how we are going to feed Natalia. (We are familiar with both full time formula feeding our foster daughter, and part time formula supplementation with breast milk expression for Natalia, so believe me when I say that it is like night and day to go from that hassle to simply lifting my shirt and letting Natalia do the rest!)  I hope we have a long time of breastfeeding ahead of us still.

Babywearing.

We spent two and a half weeks in Poland last month, we primarily used public transit, and we did not bring a stroller.  Had it not been for the awful heat wave and lack of air conditioning in many places, our specially-ordered Boba baby carrier would get two thumbs up.  But the heat made us stick to each other, and Natalia got so used to being at our eye level, that it was a hassle to get her used to her car seat again when we came home.  With that in mind, we have started to use the stroller more than before, on our longer walks, and she is slowly coming around to the benefits of riding in a stroller versus hanging around on mom or dad; she gets to feel the cool breeze, see where she is going, and help herself to some yummy puffs!

Bedding Near Baby.

I'm still loving cosleeping with my little darling.  There is a new challenge on the horizon now, though, since Natalia has become more mobile.  Naps in particular are tricky, as we don't want her rolling off the bed.  However, we do have foam puzzle floor pieces surrounding the bed in case she does, and we are teaching her how to get off the bed feet first.  Other than that, there is something to be said for a night owl like me to be woken up in the morning with that precious ear-to-ear grin and a tiny open hand on my skin.

Responding to Cries with Care.

This has been tricky.  As Natalia has moved from the newborn and young infant stage into the older baby stage, I have had to adjust my approach to her cries.  Now she no longer only cries out of true need.  Sometimes she cries (or whines, or yells) for what she merely would prefer, but doesn't necessarily need.  Enter the early stages of discipline.  I'm coming around to letting her cry a bit longer if I'm otherwise occupied and I know she's safe.  I tell her "no" when she goes for something dangerous or destructive.  But I'm also being challenged to rethink discipline in terms of teaching her self-control in the long run, and not focusing on punishment, as is the common association with discipline.  So I don't just say "no", but I redirect or distract her.  I continue to respond to her cries with empathy, treating her the way I'd want to be treated in her same situation.

Beware of Baby Trainers.

This will be an ongoing challenge, I suppose.  I am still learning what the best way is to avert advice that goes against a solid attachment relationship.  I've been told to let her cry it out, for instance, which just doesn't jive with our family ethos.  When someone is upset in our family, regardless if we think they "should" be or not, we validate their right to feeling whatever emotions they feel; we empathize.  We won't treat a child worse that we would treat an adult!  That's not to say that we don't discipline (see above).  We just have the bigger picture in mind.

Balance.

Oscar and Natalia have regular daddy-and-me time at least once a week which gives me a couple of hours to myself.  I'm not going to lie; at first, I was very excited to be left alone for a bit.  But as Natalia has gotten older and as our relationship has grown stronger through the attachment we've formed, I miss her the moment they walk out the door.  Yet I know that it's important for Natalia to have a strong attachment to her daddy, and later to others as well, so that I don't remain the center of her universe for long.  And I know that even though I would prefer to have her near me (just playing safely and quietly without "helping me type", for instance), she is not quite at that developmental stage yet.

Elimination Communication.

This isn't an official Attachment Parenting idea, but it seems a natural extension from the point about Responding with Care in particular, and simply being attuned to each other and having the bigger picture in mind more generally.  We practice EC part time.  I no longer practice nighttime EC.  For one thing, it was wrecking havoc on my sleep, and sometimes she was annoyed to be upright on the potty when she woke up in the middle of the night.  For another, she generally stays dry for roughly up to 9 hours at night.  If she wakes up early, say around 6am, nine times out of ten her diaper is still dry.  I sit her on the potty, she pees, and in about an hour or two, we go back to sleep for her longest nap.  A benefit to bedding with baby while practicing EC is that she doesn't have a chance to pee in her diaper when she wakes up, because her waking up arouses me as well, and we have a chance to "catch it".  Also, most of her poops are now "caught" directly into the potty.  Makes for a lot less clean up during diaper changes, and for a much less stinky diaper pail.

Baby-led Weaning.

This refers to the introduction of solid food, NOT the elimination of breast milk. It's also not an official Attachment Parenting idea, but again, seems to mesh well with Responding with Care, learning together, and keeping the bigger picture in mind.  This has not been as successful for us as I might've thought.  I found the idea of letting her get messy on purpose from hand feeding, when I could simply feed her by spoon, to be an unnecessary hassle and I chose the AP idea of Balance to opt for a style of eating that's easier for us both.  Plus, Natalia hasn't been all that interested in feeding herself.  We have to try to coax her to take her own sippy cup in her own hands instead of waiting for us to tip it up for her, for instance.  One main exception has been her puffs, which she helps herself to while riding in her stroller, and in her bouncy (we're waiting for her high chair to be ready this week!) while the adults are having dinner. I suspect that she will become much more independent soon, once we pick up our specially-ordered Amish high chair (that's all I'm saying about that for now!)

Baby Signs.

I'm not sure I mentioned this before, but we have been using signs for some of the most common nouns and verbs that we encounter on a daily basis.  We suspect that Natalia has started "babbling in sign".  What I mean by that is that she is actively making gestures with an apparent desire to communicate, but those gestures don't yet align with the specific thing she is referring to.  She also doesn't use them consistently yet.  Except for "airplane" - as soon as she hears a plane in the sky (we're close to the airport, so there's a bit of take-off and landing traffic), she not only looks to the sky (or the window if we're indoors) to try to locate it, but half the time she also raises her hand in what will become the sign for "airplane" once she gets better finger dexterity.  I believe she is signing and not merely pointing, because she does this even before the plane is visible, so there is nothing for her to point to.  She also lifts her arms up to indicate that she wants to be picked up.  She has started clapping her hands, which at times seems to correlate with asking for more food (the sign for "more" involves the coming together of both hands).  A very important sign that we are hoping she picks up soon is the sign for "toilet", since it would make elimination communication that much easier!

So I think that covers the major areas of parenting where we have a particular approach in mind.  Have I mentioned how much I adore mothering my baby?!

Sleeping Through the Night

Now that Natalia is 6 months old (yikes!) and beginning solid food, many people reasonably (?) expect her to start sleeping “through the night”.  However, I’ve been getting this question almost from the beginning.

There is a very good biological reason why tiny babies need to feed every few hours, day and night; basically, because the size of their stomachs only allows them to eat so much at a time.  (Here is a great visual that helps show the difference between a one day old baby’s stomach and a one month old baby’s stomach: http://babiesfirstlactation.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/the-newborns-stomach/.)  As you can imagine, as the baby grows into a child and then an adult, her stomach grows right along with her.   

Therefore, the bigger the person, the more she can eat at a time.  Conversely, the smaller the person, the less she can eat at a time.  And if she can only eat a little bit at a time, she will naturally need to eat more frequently than a bigger person, who can fill up and not get hungry for hours. So, since a baby gets hungry once she goes through her rather small meal, she inevitably will wake up at night when she gets hungry. Trying to force a young baby to sleep through the night is ill-advised.

Now, I will say that there are only very few things I enjoy more than sleeping in.  As a melancholic and a spirited adult, I tend to need more sleep than many others.  So you can be sure that adjusting to new motherhood in terms of sleep deprivation was not something I looked forward to or had an easy time with.  Even so, I do not consider getting Natalka to sleep through the night as some sort of milestone that will “finally” allow me to enjoy her more. Of course, when she does finally sleep through the night, it will be a milestone, and I will be quite happy to no longer have my nightly sleep interrupted.  But I am in no hurry.

First of all, how do we define sleeping “through” the night?  How many hours exactly counts as sleeping “through” the night?  I’ve heard “six” as the standard, but that hardly qualifies as sleeping through the night for me, who gets grouchy with much less than 10 hours of sleep.  So whether I wake up every four hours or every six makes little difference, because I’m not getting the optimum stretch of sleep that I as an individual need anyway.  If Natalia is sleeping in six-hour stretches, how ought I answer the question then?  

On the other hand, there are proponents of parenting that aims to “show baby who’s boss” by ignoring a baby’s cries in an effort to “teach independence” and hence get the baby to sleep up to 12 hours overnight.  It seems that this is an old idea that won’t die in modern times which many people – parents and non-parents alike – seem to consider some magical milestone about which to inquire at seemingly every meeting with a new mom or dad.  

Assuming we could agree on how to actually define “sleeping through the night”, what good would it do for me to answer in the positive?  All I can expect is the inquirer to smile and say “oh, good.”  And if I answer in the negative?  It’s not like the inquirer will then volunteer to take over parts of the night shift for me.  

I suppose that fellow parents ask this question simply as an attempt to find something to bond over with me.  Though if we follow different parenting styles, we may need to look outside the box for such camaraderie.  Mere artificial milestones won’t do the trick.

I did make this faux-pas a few months ago when I asked a friend with a son 8 months older than Natalia if he was sleeping "through" the night.  In my case, I was asking because I wondered what was in store for me and my little one.  I suppose it only becomes a nuisance if a parent is faced with the same question over and over again from many different people and over an extended period of time.

So let me offer a standing reply for most likely the next 6 months: No, Natalia is not yet sleeping through the night.  She wakes up on average every 4 hours, usually because the urge to pee wakes her up (I know this because her diaper is dry and she pees on her little potty), and to fill up her still small stomach.  As she starts taking in more and more solid food, I do expect her to start sleeping for longer stretches of time.  However, this will come at a price, since less frequent nursing will lead to a diminished milk supply, and of course eventual weaning.  So don’t assume that I’m looking forward to a full night’s rest necessarily, as I am fully aware that each phase of my baby’s life will come with its own pros and cons, and the best I can do is to focus on the positives and enjoy them to the fullest.

While we’re on the subject of answering reemerging questions: No, Natalia doesn’t yet have any teeth either.  And Yes, we are “still” breastfeeding. (The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for “at least” the first two years of life, and the American Academy of Pediatrics notes that breastmilk [or formula] is to be a baby’s primary source of nutrition for the entire first year of life.)

Crunchy Mama

So I have long thought that I might've enjoyed growing up in the hippie era.  For whatever reason, I had only positive associations with this label.  Long hair, relaxed clothes, laid-back lifestyle, music.... perhaps it's a reflection of what I wish I were a bit more like, because if you know me, you know that "laid back" is hardly the first descriptor most people would use to describe me!

Fast forward to when I became a mom.  I had already researched nearly every conceivable aspect of parenting ahead of time, found the approaches that I liked, and once Natalia was born, I was ready to start implementing them.  With time, I noticed that there is a term associated with moms who make similar choices to mine: crunchy.  Or granola.  Or.... wait for it - Hippie!  Lo and behold, my dream came true (wink wink); apparently I'm a neo-Hippie!  :)

But as I mentioned at the start of this blog, I do not necessarily ascribe to any one single set of choices when it comes to raising my daughter.  The same applies when it comes to this new label that I found for myself.  (Can you tell that I like labels?  Labels help me compartmentalize my world, which makes it easier to interact with people and ideas that surround me.)

So when I found a list of "signs" indicating that one may be a crunchy mama, I am happy to report that in the spirit of Hodgepodge Parenting, I do not fall neatly within the lines of all the examples given.  Granted, this article I link to here is written a bit tongue-in-cheek (I hope!), but of the 20 "signs" given, our family only fits the bill for less than half of them:

4. You and your husband haven't slept alone in your bed since your first child was born.  This is not fair, because we only just started down the road of parenting, and our only child is still young.

6. You use terms like EBF and assume everyone knows what you mean.  I think this is indicative of time spend on online forums.  At least it is for me.  (By the way, EBF = exclusive breastfeeding.)

11. You not only use cloth diapers, you make them (and wash them) yourself.  Ok, so I don't make my own cloth diapers, but I do wash them myself.  And I do make my own "baby wipes".

12. The only school for your kids is homeschool.  Yep, soon enough.

14. You drive a Prius. Indeed.

15. You have a composter, and you use it.  Sigh.  We did compost before we sold our house.  Now I'm debating if we want to get an apartment-friendly composter (it involves worms!), or wait until we have a little plot of land of our own again to start composting again. 


18. You believe coconut oil and breast milk can cure pretty much anything.  Ok, so I haven't tried the coconut oil, but I have tried the breast milk on the little scratches Natalia sports now and again on her beautiful little face.  Works like magic :)

19. You use a menstrual cup. Proudly.  I haven't had to spend a dime on feminine hygiene products in years.

You have complimented a complete stranger for nursing in public.

You have given birth at home, intentionally.

You have tried elimination communication with your baby.

You charted your BBT and cervical mucus while trying to conceive.

You own and use a composter.

You make your own laundry detergent and use wool dryer balls.

You know at least 3 ways to boost breastmilk supply.

Your friends call you when looking for natural remedies.

You own 2 or more baby wearing devices and know the difference between a wrap, a sling, and a mei tai.

You have a medicine cabinet without medicine in it.

You are an intactivist and you don’t have a son.

You have gone no poo.

Your children are on a delayed, selective, or nonexistent vaccination schedule.

You drink green smoothies or juice your vegetables.

You use cloth diapers and wipes. Bonus points if you made them yourself.

You have watched “The Business of Being Born.”

You think a chicken coop would be an awesome backyard addition.

You make your own granola.

- See more at: http://www.crunchymoms.com/you-might-be-a-crunchy-mom-if/#sthash.8vBZiOiG.dpuf

You Might be a Crunchy Mom if…

1. You make everything from bug spray to cleaning supplies.
2. You have 1 or more children sleeping in your bed/bedroom.
3. You use a cup or Mama Cloth during your menstrual cycle.
4. You consumed your placenta.
5. You have thrown or been invited to a chicken pox party.
6. You swear breast milk and coconut oil can cure anything.
7. You plan to homeschool or unschool.
8. Your going out shirts must be nursing friendly.
9. You dream of visiting “The Farm”.
10. You can pronounce quinoa, tempeh and seitan.
11. You use Family Cloth instead of toilet paper.
12. You drink kefir and kombucha.
13. You buy white distilled vinegar by the gallon.
14. You kids aren’t the only family members that wear Baltic amber.
15. You have shared breastfeeding pics on Facebook.
16. You have breastfed a child that could ask for milk in a full sentence.
17. You cringe when you see a “crotch dangler” baby carrier.
18. You are fermenting food on your counter top right now.
19. You keep your kids in extended rear facing car seats until they meet weight restrictions.
20. You have dreamed about starting or living in a commune.
21. You have complimented a complete stranger for nursing in public.
22. You have given birth at home, intentionally.
23. You have tried elimination communication with your baby.
24. You charted your BBT and cervical mucus while trying to conceive.
25. You own and use a composter.
26. You make your own laundry detergent and use wool dryer balls.
27. You know at least 3 ways to boost breastmilk supply.
28. Your friends call you when looking for natural remedies.
29. You own 2 or more baby wearing devices and know the difference between a wrap, a sling, and a mei tai.
30. You have a medicine cabinet without medicine in it.
31. You are an intactivist and you don’t have a son.
32. You have gone no poo.
33. Your children are on a delayed, selective, or nonexistent vaccination schedule.
34. You drink green smoothies or juice your vegetables.
35. You use cloth diapers and wipes. Bonus points if you made them yourself.
36. You have watched “The Business of Being Born.”
37. You think a chicken coop would be an awesome backyard addition.
38. You make your own granola.

- See more at: http://www.crunchymoms.com/you-might-be-a-crunchy-mom-if/#sthash.8vBZiOiG.dpuf

Here's another great list, and here are some additional indicators that I may be crunchy:

8. Your going-out shirts must be nursing friendly.
10. You can pronounce quinoa, tempeh, and seitan.
12. You drink kefir.
14.  You wear Baltic amber. (this is dumb, I think.  I wouldn't put a necklace on a child so young s/he could choke on it - but being Polish, I have my own Baltic amber jewelry, and don't see what all the fuss is about)
19. You keep your kids in extended rear-facing car seats until they meet weight restrictions.  (Isn't this a safety issue?)
20. You have dreamed about starting or living on a commune.
22. You have given birth at home, intentionally.
23. You have tried elimination communication with your baby.
24. You charted your BBT (basal body temperature) and cervical mucus when trying to conceive a baby.  (This is also an indication that you may be Catholic and following NFP - Natural Family Planning.)
25. You own(ed) and use(d) a composter.
27. You know at least three ways to boost breast milk supply. (Malunggay supplements, daily consumption of oatmeal, frequent nursing/pumping, domperidone... I've had to use the first three and luckily it didn't come to having to get the domperidone.)
29. You own two or more baby wearing devices and know the difference between a wrap, a sling, and a mei-tei.
31. You are an intactivist and you don't have a son.  ("Intactivism" refers to letting a boy's foreskin remain intact.  In other words, I don't support circumcision and am happy to say so when needed.)
35. You use cloth diapers and wipes.
36. You have watched "The Business of Being Born."  (And I think every woman should.)

ou can pronounce quinoa, tempeh and seitan

You Might be a Crunchy Mom if…

1. You make everything from bug spray to cleaning supplies.
2. You have 1 or more children sleeping in your bed/bedroom.
3. You use a cup or Mama Cloth during your menstrual cycle.
4. You consumed your placenta.
5. You have thrown or been invited to a chicken pox party.
6. You swear breast milk and coconut oil can cure anything.
7. You plan to homeschool or unschool.
8. Your going out shirts must be nursing friendly.
9. You dream of visiting “The Farm”.
10. You can pronounce quinoa, tempeh and seitan.
11. You use Family Cloth instead of toilet paper.
12. You drink kefir and kombucha.
13. You buy white distilled vinegar by the gallon.
14. You kids aren’t the only family members that wear Baltic amber.
15. You have shared breastfeeding pics on Facebook.
16. You have breastfed a child that could ask for milk in a full sentence.
17. You cringe when you see a “crotch dangler” baby carrier.
18. You are fermenting food on your counter top right now.
19. You keep your kids in extended rear facing car seats until they meet weight restrictions.
20. You have dreamed about starting or living in a commune.
21. You have complimented a complete stranger for nursing in public.
22. You have given birth at home, intentionally.
23. You have tried elimination communication with your baby.
24. You charted your BBT and cervical mucus while trying to conceive.
25. You own and use a composter.
26. You make your own laundry detergent and use wool dryer balls.
27. You know at least 3 ways to boost breastmilk supply.
28. Your friends call you when looking for natural remedies.
29. You own 2 or more baby wearing devices and know the difference between a wrap, a sling, and a mei tai.
30. You have a medicine cabinet without medicine in it.
31. You are an intactivist and you don’t have a son.
32. You have gone no poo.
33. Your children are on a delayed, selective, or nonexistent vaccination schedule.
34. You drink green smoothies or juice your vegetables.
35. You use cloth diapers and wipes. Bonus points if you made them yourself.
36. You have watched “The Business of Being Born.”
37. You think a chicken coop would be an awesome backyard addition.
38. You make your own granola.

- See more at: http://www.crunchymoms.com/you-might-be-a-crunchy-mom-if/#sthash.8vBZiOiG.dpuf

You Might be a Crunchy Mom if…

1. You make everything from bug spray to cleaning supplies.
2. You have 1 or more children sleeping in your bed/bedroom.
3. You use a cup or Mama Cloth during your menstrual cycle.
4. You consumed your placenta.
5. You have thrown or been invited to a chicken pox party.
6. You swear breast milk and coconut oil can cure anything.
7. You plan to homeschool or unschool.
8. Your going out shirts must be nursing friendly.
9. You dream of visiting “The Farm”.
10. You can pronounce quinoa, tempeh and seitan.
11. You use Family Cloth instead of toilet paper.
12. You drink kefir and kombucha.
13. You buy white distilled vinegar by the gallon.
14. You kids aren’t the only family members that wear Baltic amber.
15. You have shared breastfeeding pics on Facebook.
16. You have breastfed a child that could ask for milk in a full sentence.
17. You cringe when you see a “crotch dangler” baby carrier.
18. You are fermenting food on your counter top right now.
19. You keep your kids in extended rear facing car seats until they meet weight restrictions.
20. You have dreamed about starting or living in a commune.
21. You have complimented a complete stranger for nursing in public.
22. You have given birth at home, intentionally.
23. You have tried elimination communication with your baby.
24. You charted your BBT and cervical mucus while trying to conceive.
25. You own and use a composter.
26. You make your own laundry detergent and use wool dryer balls.
27. You know at least 3 ways to boost breastmilk supply.
28. Your friends call you when looking for natural remedies.
29. You own 2 or more baby wearing devices and know the difference between a wrap, a sling, and a mei tai.
30. You have a medicine cabinet without medicine in it.
31. You are an intactivist and you don’t have a son.
32. You have gone no poo.
33. Your children are on a delayed, selective, or nonexistent vaccination schedule.
34. You drink green smoothies or juice your vegetables.
35. You use cloth diapers and wipes. Bonus points if you made them yourself.
36. You have watched “The Business of Being Born.”
37. You think a chicken coop would be an awesome backyard addition.
38. You make your own granola.

- See more at: http://www.crunchymoms.com/you-might-be-a-crunchy-mom-if/#sthash.8vBZiOiG.dpuf

Interested in finding out if you may be a crunchy mama?  Here's a fun quiz to take. Though it certainly isn't all-inclusive.

So, read anything here that surprised you?

Why Do You Do That? (Co-Sleeping)

I was going to say that I’ll try not to make this blog controversial, but who are we kidding?  If I’m being true to myself, I’m bound to be controversial, right? ;)  So here goes.

4. Bed-sharing.  You may have heard the term "cosleeping" instead.  Technically, bed-sharing is a type of cosleeping, but cosleeping does not necessarily mean baby is in the big bed with mom and/or dad.  If baby is in a bassinet next to the parents' bed, this is considered cosleeping.

Natalia in a rare moment of calm in her bassinet.

This was our goal - to have Natalia in a separate little bed right next to our bed, where we could easily and quickly respond to her needs at night.  Except that she wouldn't let us put her down her first two weeks, and then spend the next 2 or so months tolerating nighttime sleep only in her swing as an alternative to being in our arms.  In order to try to regain some sanity and get sleep ourselves, we let her sleep in her swing in the same room as us.  I felt comfortable knowing she was safe away from all of my pillows and blankets, yet we could hear her early hunger cues and get her bottle ready before she started crying.  (Note this coincided with our heavy use of bottles and powder formula.)

The only sleep position tolerated by our little darling in the first two weeks.

In her trusted swing.

Playing possum... or freeze tag.

When we moved to our new apartment, she was approaching 3 months of age, and it finally felt safe for me to bring her next to me in the bed.  Now that we were breastfeeding full-time, having her next to me made nighttime feedings a cinch! When she starts to wiggle around, I reach over and help her latch on, and keep right on sleeping.  It's marvelous!  I get a ton more sleep than if I had to get up, and I know this because before I learned how to nurse lying down, I'd get up and sit in my nursing chair, put my nursing pillow on, and then feed her.  It was a whole production. But it's not just about my comfort.  She is happier too, knowing that mommy is right beside her.  I cannot imagine not being able to sleep with her by my side.

Snuggling for a nap.

Having said that, we are now helping her learn to take naps in her playpen.  Once she is sleeping through the night, or at least only waking once and letting mommy sleep in ;), we may likely start keeping her in the playpen overnight.  After all, as she gets bigger, her wiggles will inevitably turn into kicks and being elbowed out of a sound sleep doesn’t sound as lovey-dovey as a gentle baby hand reaching over in the middle of the night.

For the most part, Natalia has been using her playpen to fight - er, play with -  her Giffy Jr.

So, why do we share sleep?

Because it's more convenient for me to nurse her at night, and because we both prefer to snuggle close than to be separated from each other.

What's hodgepodge about that?

Well, we didn't start out sharing a bed, and we are starting to utilize her playpen for sleep as well.

Finally, while we are on the subject of sleep, I couldn't not share this image.

Like father, like daughter!