Dear Natalka,
You truly are the sunshine of my life. You have grounded me in a way I wasn't expecting. You have challenged me and stretched me and motivated me, and for my attempts at trying to keep up, you have rewarded me dearly.
Looking at your sweet face brings a warm feeling with a soft glow to my heart, and a broad smile to my face. Listening to your antics, your clever ways of using the words you're acquiring, amazes me, as it shows me what unadulterated joyful learning can be. Cuddling you close to me not only keeps me warm (since daddy set your body temperature to his in the weeks after you were born!), but often brings tears of joy to my eyes.
Three years ago, you were just a speck in daddy's and my imagination. Two years ago, you were a dream come true, but we were so exhausted, it was hard to truly appreciate you! A year ago, the fog started to lift, and since then, I've been amazed and thrilled on a daily basis that you are real, you are here, you are mine, and I am the luckiest person in the world to have both you and your daddy in my life. One of you alone is an incredible gift, but the two of you together is like winning the jackpot.
My hope for you for the new year and beyond is that you cultivate your sense of wonder, keep your sense of humor, stay healthy and resilient as you have been so far, continue to inquire about the world around you, and always remember that you are loved. You truly are a work of art, made in the image of God. May you hold on to this knowledge through all the challenges of your long, joyful life.
I love you with everything that I am. And I pray that I may be the mom you need me to be in order to grow into the woman you are destined to be.
With all my love, hugs, and kisses,
Mamusia
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
What About Unschooling?
I had previously taken a brief interest in unschooling, after reading "Learning All the Time" by John Holt, pioneer of this educational movement. But the teacher in me wouldn't allow me to see outside the box. So I have dabbled here and there, in Montessori, Classical, Unit Studies, Charlotte Mason, Waldorf... I knew for a fact that I wasn't going to be merely holding school at home with my daughter. And the alternative options all had something of value to offer. Since Natalia is only 2, I had settled on a Montessori-inspired approach, though I most definitely am still solidly in the Ecclectic camp of home educators.
I started to have an inkling that I had begun to go down the wrong path when I bought my first set of flashcards for her - shapes and colors. Or maybe it was once I finally typed up a proper lesson plan with all the various areas of study I wanted to cover on a daily basis? Perhaps it was actually much earlier, when the alphabet went up on our wall? Regardless, I had finally been awakened to the fact that I was trying too hard when I began reading "Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery" by David H. Albert.
Again, my gut objections rose to the top. The idea of child-led learning sounds reasonable, sounds like the ticket to a truly freedom- and passion-based education, one that can set my daughter on the path to a lifetime of enjoying learning. But. But I'm still a teacher. A big reason I wanted to homeschool was because I wanted to teach. Also, how can I just sort of let her pick what she wants to learn about without first exposing her to what's even out there for her to choose from?
In the most recent conversation I had about this with a friend, I remember myself saying that at this point I'm definitely on board with unschooling for the teenage years - middle school (which I've already become convinced, from my time learning about the Classical approach, can be skipped entirely), and most definitely high school. But the elementary years? She's got to have some basics, doesn't she?
Eeek! What are these basics, exactly? And who decides what's basic knowledge, what's basically important to know? Certainly not the school board or textbook authors or curricula writers. But was I really doing my daughter any favors by merely replacing these "authority figures" with myself?
Well, I actually think the answer to that question is, yes. As her parent, it is my responsibility to decide what she "ought" to be learning - about life, values, habits, etc. So as long as I stay away from dry academic subjects, I have every right - responsibility even - to come up with a flexible, child-led to-a-degree, values-based curriculum.
To satisfy my teacher instinct, I see my role as twofold. One, I will set forth goals for my daughter's education, but they will not be anything that can be measured via a standardized test. When she was born - or even before - I had said that my goal for her is that she be healthy, happy, and kind. And that still stands. So as a home educating parent, I simply need to translate this three-fold goal into more practical experiences that I believe will enable her to reach this ideal.
And two, I do not need to put away all lesson plans and curricula in order to unschool. Rather, I will write these as we go, filling in the details after the fact. Instead of "what WILL we do in the area of math/science/language arts.... on Monday".... our approach will be, "what DID we do in the area of math/science/language arts.... on Monday?"
This will not only satisfy the teacher in me, but will also serve as an assesment of sorts, making sure that we do get around to the various areas that Big Brother mandates of us in our state. This way, if we've been away from an area for too long, I'll know to gently steer our experiences in that direction for a while.
Yesterday was the first day I consciously paid attention to Natalia's lead, rather than trying to reference my lesson plan (which to be honest I hadn't even followed for more than a week since writing it up). After waking up (on her own, that's generally the rule in our home), she pulled out her foam letter puzzle and dragged it all into the bathroom before I was even finished getting ready for the day. So we went and practiced her letters - her initiative, though I was there to guide her, name the letters and sounds for her as she asked, and light-heartedly said yay or nay when she matched letters incorrectly. (She does this herself as well, in any puzzle, she seems to enjoy purposely making an incorrect match, saying "tutaj? nieeee!" (Polish for "here? nooo!") until finally she makes the correct match.)
Next, she had remembered a science experiment - turned art project and asked to play with the ice again. So I dutifully took out the large frozen ice in a bowl with old food coloring, gave her salt and more food coloring and she proceeded to salt the ice to get it to melt, added food coloring, and finally used a brush to smear everything together. We then dumped the ice on the balcony (the whole project was an outdoor activity - bonus points for fresh air!) and proceeded to chip away at the ice to see what would happen. Before putting the ice back in the fridge for a future time, we dumped the colorful water that had melted at the bottom of the bowl onto the balcony for one of Natalia's favorite activities - jumping in puddles! (She calls it "charcos" from the Spanish version of Peppa Pig that she watches at times.)
Today, she started asking to watch Maya the Bee before she had a chance to get bored with any other activity, and I began to worry. Feeling a little burned out anyway, I thought we had been good with limiting screen time and I could use the time to do some cleaning around the house. She watched a bit of her favorite shows, in Polish and Spanish (so bonus points for language reinforcement), and about 45 minutes later just got up and found me to see what I was doing. She took out some of her musical instruments and started playing. She had naturally gotten bored with her shows and moved on to something else!
I took the opportunity to compensate for the screen time by taking the dogs for a walk. We spent roughly the equivalent time she had watched her shows, outside. Again, I had to remind myself to let her follow her curiosity, instead of insisting that she follow where I'm going and make no pit stops. We ended up going by some tall dried up grass near a creek, she collected sticks and dried pine needles and piled them up for a "bonfire", and of course she shuffled her feet for a bit in a pile of fallen leaves. She found a lone holly berry on a bush and asked about it. When she gets older, we can take these lessons farther, actually looking up the answers to whatever we are curious about.
For now, for crying out loud, she's only 2! Most of her peers will continue to wear diapers for another year, while she's been potty trained for six months, and going on the potty and/or toilet since 6 weeks old! Let's count that as advanced learning already (and why not? At this age, she learning the true basics of life!), instead of rushing to get to the next thing and never savoring the present moment.
I see already that the joy of home educating will be not so much that I get to teach my daughter, but that she gets to teach me!
I started to have an inkling that I had begun to go down the wrong path when I bought my first set of flashcards for her - shapes and colors. Or maybe it was once I finally typed up a proper lesson plan with all the various areas of study I wanted to cover on a daily basis? Perhaps it was actually much earlier, when the alphabet went up on our wall? Regardless, I had finally been awakened to the fact that I was trying too hard when I began reading "Homeschooling and the Voyage of Self-Discovery" by David H. Albert.
Again, my gut objections rose to the top. The idea of child-led learning sounds reasonable, sounds like the ticket to a truly freedom- and passion-based education, one that can set my daughter on the path to a lifetime of enjoying learning. But. But I'm still a teacher. A big reason I wanted to homeschool was because I wanted to teach. Also, how can I just sort of let her pick what she wants to learn about without first exposing her to what's even out there for her to choose from?
In the most recent conversation I had about this with a friend, I remember myself saying that at this point I'm definitely on board with unschooling for the teenage years - middle school (which I've already become convinced, from my time learning about the Classical approach, can be skipped entirely), and most definitely high school. But the elementary years? She's got to have some basics, doesn't she?
Eeek! What are these basics, exactly? And who decides what's basic knowledge, what's basically important to know? Certainly not the school board or textbook authors or curricula writers. But was I really doing my daughter any favors by merely replacing these "authority figures" with myself?
Well, I actually think the answer to that question is, yes. As her parent, it is my responsibility to decide what she "ought" to be learning - about life, values, habits, etc. So as long as I stay away from dry academic subjects, I have every right - responsibility even - to come up with a flexible, child-led to-a-degree, values-based curriculum.
To satisfy my teacher instinct, I see my role as twofold. One, I will set forth goals for my daughter's education, but they will not be anything that can be measured via a standardized test. When she was born - or even before - I had said that my goal for her is that she be healthy, happy, and kind. And that still stands. So as a home educating parent, I simply need to translate this three-fold goal into more practical experiences that I believe will enable her to reach this ideal.
And two, I do not need to put away all lesson plans and curricula in order to unschool. Rather, I will write these as we go, filling in the details after the fact. Instead of "what WILL we do in the area of math/science/language arts.... on Monday".... our approach will be, "what DID we do in the area of math/science/language arts.... on Monday?"
This will not only satisfy the teacher in me, but will also serve as an assesment of sorts, making sure that we do get around to the various areas that Big Brother mandates of us in our state. This way, if we've been away from an area for too long, I'll know to gently steer our experiences in that direction for a while.
Yesterday was the first day I consciously paid attention to Natalia's lead, rather than trying to reference my lesson plan (which to be honest I hadn't even followed for more than a week since writing it up). After waking up (on her own, that's generally the rule in our home), she pulled out her foam letter puzzle and dragged it all into the bathroom before I was even finished getting ready for the day. So we went and practiced her letters - her initiative, though I was there to guide her, name the letters and sounds for her as she asked, and light-heartedly said yay or nay when she matched letters incorrectly. (She does this herself as well, in any puzzle, she seems to enjoy purposely making an incorrect match, saying "tutaj? nieeee!" (Polish for "here? nooo!") until finally she makes the correct match.)
Next, she had remembered a science experiment - turned art project and asked to play with the ice again. So I dutifully took out the large frozen ice in a bowl with old food coloring, gave her salt and more food coloring and she proceeded to salt the ice to get it to melt, added food coloring, and finally used a brush to smear everything together. We then dumped the ice on the balcony (the whole project was an outdoor activity - bonus points for fresh air!) and proceeded to chip away at the ice to see what would happen. Before putting the ice back in the fridge for a future time, we dumped the colorful water that had melted at the bottom of the bowl onto the balcony for one of Natalia's favorite activities - jumping in puddles! (She calls it "charcos" from the Spanish version of Peppa Pig that she watches at times.)
Today, she started asking to watch Maya the Bee before she had a chance to get bored with any other activity, and I began to worry. Feeling a little burned out anyway, I thought we had been good with limiting screen time and I could use the time to do some cleaning around the house. She watched a bit of her favorite shows, in Polish and Spanish (so bonus points for language reinforcement), and about 45 minutes later just got up and found me to see what I was doing. She took out some of her musical instruments and started playing. She had naturally gotten bored with her shows and moved on to something else!
I took the opportunity to compensate for the screen time by taking the dogs for a walk. We spent roughly the equivalent time she had watched her shows, outside. Again, I had to remind myself to let her follow her curiosity, instead of insisting that she follow where I'm going and make no pit stops. We ended up going by some tall dried up grass near a creek, she collected sticks and dried pine needles and piled them up for a "bonfire", and of course she shuffled her feet for a bit in a pile of fallen leaves. She found a lone holly berry on a bush and asked about it. When she gets older, we can take these lessons farther, actually looking up the answers to whatever we are curious about.
For now, for crying out loud, she's only 2! Most of her peers will continue to wear diapers for another year, while she's been potty trained for six months, and going on the potty and/or toilet since 6 weeks old! Let's count that as advanced learning already (and why not? At this age, she learning the true basics of life!), instead of rushing to get to the next thing and never savoring the present moment.
I see already that the joy of home educating will be not so much that I get to teach my daughter, but that she gets to teach me!
Friday, December 11, 2015
Just Because I'm White....
My daughter is not white. She isn't Black either. But when issues are of concern to one group of People of Color, they are of concern to all People of Color, and by extension, to me personally.
Before you dismiss something as "merely politically correct" or "insignificant", consider that you do not speak from lived experience. You speak from a place of privilege. Just because something isn't important to you doesn't mean it doesn't warrant attention.
If we all respected each other enough to truly listen when we say something bothers us, to learn from each other's experiences, to honor each other's differences, then people wouldn't need to fight against the current of the mainstream to make a point.
Talking about racism isn't what creates racism. Ignoring racism allows it to continue. Us white people can choose to ignore it and pretend it no longer exists. People of Color do not get this choice. Instead, their choice is to internalize racism and take on white standards as the norm, or to stand up for their human and civil rights.
There is no reason for white people to get defensive. Giving everyone their due doesn't take anything away from us. And if we have an unfair advantage to start with, well, it's only the right thing to do to first make sure everyone has their share. Their share of representation, their share of resources, their share of respect.
Thank you for reading.
*PS. Racism comes in all sorts of shades. There is subtle racism, things us white people simply take for granted and assume everyone's experience is like ours, when it actually isn't. Being ignorant of our own white privilege is nothing to be ashamed of or defensive about. When you know better, you do better. That's all. Don't compare yourself to the KKK and say "I"m not a racist." Compare yourself to the best version of yourself, and say "I can probably do better. There's always room for improvement."
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Toddler Autumn 2015
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| Drawing at her new table. |
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| Helping with the dishes. |
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| In her favorite shopping cart at Food Lion. |
Above she is low-crawling and calling it a "gąsienica" (worm in Polish)
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| "I'm not going to be a pawn in your games!" |
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| Somebody loves their noodles! Chopsticks and everything! |
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| Stop! .... In the name of love... |
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| Too young to drive. |
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| It's getting cold outside! |
Here is my little darling at a class for kids at the library.
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| At the playground with her friend Alina. |
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| Moj maly kwiatuszek! |
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| Sto lat, Babciu! |
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| checking paws for mud |
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| Flower arranging all on her own :) |
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| My little book worm at the used book store. |
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| On a walk with friend Alina. |
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| Loving the fall leaves. |
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| Collecting coins for local crisis pregnancy center. |
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| Drinking from a water fountain all by herself! |
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| Celebrating her 2nd birthday with mommy and both grandmothers. |
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| In her new bed. |
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| Got a family of dinosaurs from her friend Alina! |
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| Our trio on her 2nd bday. |
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| Enjoying some frozen yogurt "helado" with daddy at Ikea. |
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| Found a pint sized sink at Ikea! |
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| On our hotel balcony. |
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| Calling to the horses that were being ridden on the beach. |
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| Abuelo Henry with his granddaughters, Natalia (almost 2) & Jade (10). |
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| That would be me growling, trying to get Natalka to smile. |
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| The clan. L-R: Natalia's Tia Yoli, Tio Silder, cousin Jade, Abuela, Abuelo, Tio Elliott, Mommy, Natalia, Papi. |
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Natalka's Summer 2015
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| enjoying the hammock with tio elliott, tia mari, and abuelo |
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| fun under the sun |
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| walking the dogs |
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| carrying the pooper scooper |
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| Natalka with her Abuelo Henry. |
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| A little cuddle under the Black Madonna. |
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| Found her belly button |
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| Helping mommy with groceries. |
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| With Crystal, newest cousin. |
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| shushing and patting baby doll's back... |
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| .... while baby wearing :) |
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| furry nap time |
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| enjoying Huntie the trouble-maker |
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| Natalka's first braid! |
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| Deep into her book, in her reading nook. |
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| She wanted the bird on her shoulder, but then didn't like it so much. |
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| We were bird watching for a neighbor. |
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| With daddy after the US won the women's world cup against Japan. |
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| Catching a praying mantis. |
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| Grumpy! We were watching 4th of July fireworks from the car. |
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| Writing with her egg chalk on an early birthday present from uncle Karol. |
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| Getting aquainted with her newest doll, early birthday present from aunt Dusia, and stroller from Abuela. |
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| Bird-sitting. |
Here is Natalka telling me where her favorite beverage (milk) comes from.
Here she is playing cars with her cousin, Andrew, who was visiting Babcia. She called him "boy", which Andrew got a kick out of :)
And finally, we also visited the county fair, where Natalka got to see lots of animals up close.
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