Sending Kids to Daycare and Preschool

I assumed that, as a stay-at-home mom and future homeschool educator, I wouldn't have to deal with the decision of sending my kids to daycare and then preschool.  But one by one, more and more playdate moms have started revealing to me that they're sending their kids to some sort of organized school-ish environment, if even for a few hours each week.  My first shock was when other stay-at-home moms started doing it.  My second shock came when a future homeschooling mom likewise revealed that her elder child will be starting preschool in September.  Note that "shock" does not mean "disapproval".  It just wasn't on my radar.  I assumed that only working-for-pay moms sent their kids to daycare or preschool, out of necessity.

But I would be lying if I said the thought of sending my own daughter somewhere outside the home for "enrichment" never crossed my mind.  In fact, it has recently crossed my mind as I lamented having to stop any serious preschool homeschooling with the birth of Antonio.  During my pregnancy, I really enjoyed not only sharing various educational lessons with Natalia, but also documenting them and being able to see how she's learning.  Then I gave myself a couple of months after baby brother's birth for unschooling, and again I was pleased when I went to document these months to see how Natalia was learning without any advanced thought given by me to planning out what she should learn.

However, having a baby in the home who loves attention and physical proximity but doesn't care much for baby carriers has proven to be quite challenging.  At best, we have been able to take full advantage of our local library, both in terms of exploring lots of books, especially on nature, but also classic children's literature and even Spanish, as well as the occasional storytime where Natalia interacts with the librarian and other children.  And while this is all fine and good for the time being, I am not satisfied with this arrangement long-term.  And so when one mom after another started sharing with me where they are sending their kids, suddenly the idea arrived on my radar.

I immediately thought of Montessori preschool.  I knew that if I ever sent my kids to preschool, I'd want it to be Montessori.  I love the environment and philosophy behind Montessori.  We've incorporated various Montessori-inspired activities into our daily living over time.  I also like that the children are not segragated by age but that they are in a three-year age group, where younger children can learn from older ones, and the older kids can practice leadership skills while helping the younger ones.  But one internet search put the idea of Montessori preschool idea to rest.  Tuition.

A couple of moms have been praising the co-op preschool they've selected for their kids, and while I like the idea of spending most of the time outside, focusing on social interactions rather than premature academics, and the fact that it's a tiny fraction of what a Montessori preschool costs, I hesitate.

First of all, I would have liked to have been able to send Natalia somewhere right now, over the next few months, until Antonio becomes less clingy and I am freed up enough to take over homeschooling again.  But it seems that unless I were satisfied with a daycare, all preschools start and end along with the public school year, and there's a comitment generally for the school year.

But there's more.  I also do not like the idea of surrounding Natalia with other kids who, like her, have yet to learn proper social interaction skills, and let them influence each other for better or for worse.  One-on-one is one thing.  But in a classroom setting... and without my presence, it comes down to this: who knows what she'd actually be learning from her peers!  Name brands?  Disney characters?  Attitudes towards toys, food, clothes, hair, the list is really endless.  The whole point of me staying home, first of all, and then homeschooling is to maintain control over what my children are and aren't exposed to. (I use the word control here not in a Type-A personality way, but in the it's-my-responsibility-and-perogative-as-parent way.).  The point is for me to not delegate the task of raising them to others, whose values I may not share.

In addition, giving Natalia a regularly recurring time away from home would also limit her exposure to one of our minority family languages. (I say one of them, thinking here of Polish, because her Spanish exposure is mostly tied to when Oscar is home, which wouldn't change if she were to attend preschool.)  Especially during the first 5 or so years, language exposure is critical if we want fluency for our kids.  There is no need for us to worry about English for our kids, because we live in an English-as-majority-language community.  But if we want to safeguard our minority languages, we need to seek out more opportunities in Polish and Spanish, not less.

I understand why public (or even private) school-bound kids' parents may want to give their kids "a head start" by enrolling them in preschool.  Expectations for school kids has risen to unrealistic levels, so that arriving in Kindergarten on the first day of school, kids today are already expected to know the alphabet.  I disagree with such premature academics.  I didn't start to learn to read until I was 6 or 7, and I dare to say that my reading and writing skills are much better than most public school graduates, not to mention that I'm literate in three languages.  I don't say this to brag, but to prove a point - so-called "delayed academics" works, and it works better than premature academics.

But other than academics, school-bound kids also have to prepare for the social aspects of school.  For better or for worse, kids these days don't just go to school to learn (in fact, I doubt that's actually the reason for many anyway), but to make friends, try to fit in, learn what the mainstream says about what's normal and appropriate, and essentially lose themselves to group-think in many cases.  Bottom line, kids headed for school do need to be prepared for what that environment is like.  Standing in line, raising your hand before speaking, asking permission to go to the bathroom, taking turns with limited equipment or supplies, etc.  Without these skills, schools would be even more chaotic than they already are.  (Though not all agree, as the likes of Sudbury schools have started popping up more and more.)  As future homeschoolers, my kids have no need of these skills, especially not at age 3 or 4.

And so I conclude that in the end, the best decision for our family is to keep on trekking with what we've been doing.  Staying home together, building on family relationships as paramount, and only supplementing the value system we live at home by playdates and group events for kids.  That is enough.

Natalka's Preschool February-March

Let's start with the most difficult lessons anyone ever has to learn - those surrounding death.  Natalka experienced the funeral of her great-grandfather, as well as saying goodbye to our beloved family dog, Bigosia.  In an effort to prepare her with the little time we had, there were books read both on grief and life cycles, specifically in the animal kingdom.  There was also talk about our religious beliefs regarding eternal life.  Very hard lessons, lessons not found in an academic setting, yet so much more important.

Visiting the park where, almost exactly a year ago, she participated in the spreading of her Abuelo Henry's ashes.

Making friends at a cemetery.

Sitting on Abuela's lap at bisabuelo Yeyo's funeral.

Just days after returning from the funeral trip, it was time to say goodbye to our faithful companion.

Covered shivering Bigosia.

Trip to vet before getting the bad news.

Allowed to walk Bigosia all by herself.  

Offering treats for the road.

Saying goodbye.

One thing I've learned through this difficult time is that perspective is everything.  You'll notice the smiles on Natalia's face even as we continued talking about what was happening.  I had to paint Bigosia's last day as somehow special, something Bigosia was looking forward to, being released from her pain and the confines of her broken body, her spirit free to roam the cosmos, at Jesus's side.  There had to be a little creative theology there, but nothing too far from what I believe to be essentially true.

But there were other learning opportunities these two months as well.  The first was a starting point for a religious identity.  Being present at her brother's baptism provided an opportunity to read a few books on Catholicism and start talking about who is and isn't Catholic. 

Hello new Catholic brother ;)

learning about self-regulating her own temperature

texture under the feet, a calming view, so much to take in

found a jellyfish

     

Putting her snowsuit to good use

 Wildly fluctuating temperatures made for some very interesting February outdoor adventures.

Backyard picnic. No food.

Fine motor skills with the clothespins, a helping attitude, and learning that the sun's heat dries our clothes.

Bubbles, always a source of wonder.

Took this photo to show Natalka her uvula after reading about it in a book.

Story time at the library.

Exploring the library computer.

Some new moves on the parallel bars.

The joy of pushing past one's fear! Natalka on a ladder.

 

Found a worm on a walk.

Spanish story time con Papi.

Expressing herself at the dollar store.

Teaching brother to grasp things.

Who is copying whom?  Natalks keen on what gets mom's attention.

Claiming her little brother.

Fine motor skills and a precursor to braiding - twisting yarn.

Not to mention the numerous library books (and books we own) that we read daily.  Our library focus has been zoology, and we've been moving through mammals, birds, reptiles, and currently on amphibians.  Natalia is picking up not only vocabulary to describe what we're learning about the animal kingdom, but also incorporating these newly learned concepts into her play and conversations.  Just this morning, she brough a balloon and talked about having laid an egg.  We talked about what kind of animal she might be (it has to be an animal that actually lays eggs!), and she proceeded to inform me (when I asked what was inside, expecting to hear the name of an animal) that there was yolk inside, so that the baby animal had something to eat to help it grow so it could hatch!  She then opened the curtains to let the sun in because the egg needs heat for the animal to hatch!  

We read and watched videos about air travel as well.  That it'd be noisy.  That her ears might hurt.  What she can expect to see out the window.  How to answer if someone asks her with whom she's traveling or what her full name is. That kind of thing.

Waiting for her plane.

Sitting in her own big chair on the plane.  Playing with the "just-in-case" travel pouch we prepared for her should she get separated from Daddy.

I also wanted to add the various social situations that Natalka has had, but I didn't want to go through the photos documenting these encounters due to privacy issues.  She played with six kids at Antonio's baptism, a little girl cousin she just met at her great-grandfather's funeral, whatever kids we run into at the library, at the playground, or at church, and the regular playdates that she has with several friends.  And that's just her peers.  More importantly, she's interacted with her grandparents, an aunt, cousins, and friends of her parents.  What's more, she finally agreed to go to a children's "class/childcare" during a church event, and not only did she go willingly, she was eager to return. 

Something else that isn't evident from these photos is her continued multilingual growth.  I mentioned her growing English vocabulary from library books, but the show Little Einsteins also helps in this regard.  We finally found it in Spanish, so she's started watching it in Spanish as well.  You can see one of the photos depicting Spanish storytime as well.  Signing likewise is used regularly, and I try to keep up by watching the Signing Time videos with her at least once.

What I've learned from these two months is that there are seasons for everything, and that there is no need to try to squeeze every "subject" into every month.  While we are taking an unschooling approach for the time being, and I am enjoying seeing how much there is to be learned without curricula or lesson plans, I'd be remiss to say that I will stick with unschooling for the long haul.  One reason for unschooling right now is that I agree with what I'm reading about "delayed academics", or more accurately, about not imposing premature academics on a child.  Charlotte Mason, I haven't forgotten about you ;)

Natalka's Preschool November - January

Just days before baby brother is born, doing a pelvic exam :)

Learning about falling leaves.

Practice on her parallel bars.

decorating her mini choinka

cracked open a whole walnut 

working on continents puzzle she helped me make

drawing Antonio's birth

face-off with a chameleon

helped daddy pick and cut Christmas tree

went fishing at the Science Museum

water play at the Science Museum

Sandbox experience

working on her jigsaw dinosaur puzzle

helping daddy cook

holding the reigns on the carousel horse

a little foodie - trying Indian food

meeting Chichi Jr

first ice of the season, up close

decorating live Christmas Tree (it was prickly!)

a favorite pretend game - calling Suzie Sheep on the hotel phone

Putting baby Jesus into the Manger on Christmas

working with her Nativity sticker scene

Changing Antonio's diaper

scissor practice with cutting strips

found a worm on a walk

work with snow

saw sea turtle at the Aquarium

working on new, small pieces dinosaur puzzle

we both learned not to draw with lipstic in the tub

serenading me on the guitar

vertical play - chalk and magnets

bird watching

cutting playdough

first face paint at the Dinosaur Exhibit

Discovering her own track in the snow

These are just the highlights of Natalka's "unschooled preschool", the moments that were captured.  So many more experiences have had to do with the care of her newborn baby brother, which can be seen in other posts under Antonio's updates.  As it turns out, we do not need a curriculum to learn, and we love it! :)