Parenting Update

Still employing breastfeeding and cosleeping as part of my continued attachment parenting.  I feel very well connected to my daughter, and vice versa.  True, she does seem clingy at times and gets separation anxiety, but I resent the implication that (a) this is anything other than age-appropriate, and (b) that my parenting is "causing" it.  Some kids are more clingy than others, regardless of the style of parenting being employed.  If this is her natural tendency, then I'd be doing her a huge disservice by forcing premature independence on her.  I dread our separations as much as she does, but we do insist on them now and again.

Currently, we are working on incorporating more daddy-and-me time by easing into it.  Daddy has his own bucket of toys that only come out for when they play (yet to be implemented, really).  And we are trying to spend time on the floor playing all three of us, with he focus being on daddy interacting and me just being there to satisfy her attachment needs.  Once she becomes more and more comfortable playing with just daddy, I'll be able to start separating myself from the herd.  Currently, when I go take a shower, for instance, sometimes they play nice together, other times the only thing that soothes a tantrum is letting her watch Maya the Bee in Polish or Peppa Pig in Spanish.  I specify the languages because we specifically let her watch these two shows for a reason, but I'll go into that in a future multilingual/homeschooling update.

Gentle discipline has been going pretty well for the most part.  Primarily the idea is to prevent negative behaviors by anticipating Natalia's needs.  If she's already done something wrong, it's too late to then scold her for it.  Easier said than done.  One thing she does a lot if allowed to roam free is to dump the dogs' water bowl.  She loves water play and playing in the rain.  A gentle discipline approach is to anticipate that she will do this if we allow her unsupervised access to the water bowl, and keep the gate to the dogs' area closed when she's running around (as opposed to when we are playing in the bedroom/playroom, outside, etc.).

I've been frustrated that some of my tricks aren't doing the trick, so to speak.  I come down to her level and ask her directly to put away her blocks, for instance.  I suggest she choose if she wants to hand me the blocks and I put them in the box, or if I shall hand her the blocks and she put them in the box.  Sometimes this works, other times she lolligags anyway, or completely ignores me.  I find myself yelling when this happens, but this just makes her laugh for some reason.  So I'm rereading (for the third time, I believe) Elizabeth Pantley's "The No-Cry Discipline Solution" in an effort to add more options to my bag of tricks.

Finally, I am feeling a lot more comfortable about my role as a stay-at-home parent now that Natalia is getting bigger.  I see that it is taking a lot more planning and organizing to maximize her learning, fun, and socialization opportunities, plus juggle various household duties.  I do not feel like a mooch like I once did.  And I cannot imagine delegating this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of raising my daughter to someone else.  I don't care if this makes someone feel bad.  I'm tired of being made to feel bad for not working outside the home, so I'm just going to own it.  I don't necessarily advocate this lifestyle for all parents, as I know it's not an option for some, and for others the child actually would thrive more outside the home.  But for us, it's what works and is most fulfilling.