Why Do You Do That? (Breastfeeding)

Another aspect of Attachment Parenting that we happen to follow is breastfeeding.  Perhaps no one actually asked me why I'd want to breastfeed, until I was in pain and having a really hard time.  Then everyone was trying to convince me to not be a "martyr" (Oscar included) and just give up.  While I understand that those of you who may have said this certainly meant well, and I appreciate not having the additional pressure from others to press on, there was just something stubbornly insistent within me that said I had to try just "one more thing".  Luckily, eventually, one of those "one more things" did lead to a happy breastfeeding relationship.  I'll share details of that fiasco separately, though.

2. Breastfeeding.  In a nutshell, if a mother is able to breastfeed (ie. has the supply and isn't in pain), it's the best option for the baby. I won't get into a debate of formula vs breastmilk, or bottles versus breast, since I've had to run the full gamut of options in order to nourish my daughter.  Essentially, breastfeeding is about:

a. Nourishment - breast milk is the best choice in terms of immunities and nutrients needed by the baby for her or his developmental stage, as breast milk changes as the baby's needs change.  Colostrum, or the yellow, small in quantity but enormous in nutritional value milk that is present in the first week or so, before mature milk comes in. Of course, just because it's the best option doesn't mean the alternative - formula - is inherently "bad", especially if it is being chosen out of necessity for whatever reason.  Donor breastmilk is another alternative.

Natalka getting her colostrum in the first few days after birth.

b. Bonding - when breastfeeding, a mother holds her baby close, perhaps skin-to-skin, and is providing not just the milk, but the closeness necessary for a healthy bonding experience.  Mother and baby are able to study each others' faces and simply spend time together.  If breastfeeding is impossible, similar results can be accomplished with bottle nursing, where the caregiver holds baby close while giving the bottle, and paced bottle feeding, where the bottle is held such that the baby has to still work at suckling in order to get the milk.  This gave me the most hope when I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to put Natalia on the breast again due to the pain it caused me. Paced bottle feeding is especially important if mother hopes to return to breastfeeding or if she is breast feeding part time, since this type of feeding supports breastfeeding by simulating the flow the baby is used to from the breast.

c. Nursing for comfort - if supply is the problem, then breastfeeding can still be used as a source of comfort for baby.  Consider that the pacifier is nothing more than an artificial nipple meant to give baby the comfort of suckling when away from the breast or when not hungry.  Studies show that nursing a baby during a painful experience, such as when getting vaccines, lessens the baby's pain experience. Breastfeeding is a convenient way to calm a baby when you’re unsure if she’s hungry or just needs a cuddle, because she will get whatever she needs and you don’t have to try to figure it out!

d. Benefits to the mother - though I won't go into details here, these are purported to range from faster weight loss to a decreased risk of breast cancer.

Natalka back to nursing full-time, at 2 1/2 months.

So, why do I breastfeed?  

I think really, the correct question should be, why do so many women who can breastfeed choose not to?  God made breasts for a reason, and that reason is to nourish babies!  It’s natural, it’s normal, and if all is going well, it’s very convenient.  For women who don’t have problems and can nurse from the get-go, it’s also free :)

But why did I want to breastfeed in spite of having so many problems with it?  Why was it so difficult for me to quit?  I think the answer to that lies in part in our struggle with infertility.  For years, I felt "less than" for not having children.  Breastfeeding seemed like the perfect equalizer between all mothers.  Women around the world and throughout history breastfeed their babies.  Images of the Madonna with Child show this special relationship between mother and babe.  I guess on a subconscious level, it was breastfeeding that would finally complete my quest for motherhood.  Once I could nourish my daughter the way God intended, then I could finally feel like I've arrived at the end of our infertility journey. 

What’s hodgepodge about this?

As I’ll describe in another post, Natalia and I had a very difficult time establishing full-time breastfeeding.  Therefore, we had to rely on breast pumps, bottles, pacifiers, and formula.  I had to just do what I could and not worry about the rest.  It just worked out that we were able to return to full-time breastfeeding in our case, but I still pump milk occasionally and store it so that we have the option of giving Natalia a bottle if I need to be away from her.