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Monday, March 17, 2014

Natalia's Birth Story

Natalia was born at home at 10:15 pm on Monday, November 25, 2013, weighing 5 pounds 10 ounces, measuring 18.5 inches.
             
Natalka just a few hours old.
I was in labor for a total of 18 hours and some change, going into active labor shortly before my water broke 13 hours into it.  Oscar ended up going into work for a few hours when we realized it was either that or once baby came.  It was a tough call, because I did not do well laboring alone.  He finally got back home around 7pm, and at this point my contractions were lasting a minute and were 2-3 minutes apart.  I was not a happy camper.  I think not having Oscar really messed up our hypnobabies system. I tried laboring with the CDs but it wasn't helping.  I ended up doing a lot of vocalizing.  Birth assistant came shortly after Oscar, and midwife wasn't too far behind.  I ended up not getting antibiotics for GBS (group B strep) as midwife felt baby was going to come very soon, not the 4-8 hours after the first dose that is standard.  Indeed, she was born 2 hours after midwife arrived.
They spent a good deal of time trying to fill the birth pool, but they were having problems with the water not being hot enough.  I only got a little bit of hydrotherapy in the shower before all the hot water in the house apparently went out.  Never got in the birth tub.  :( Huge disappointment.

The tub all ready, except that the water never got hot enough :(
I labored on the toilet for a while, but didn't want baby born in there, and they were telling me that I was sounding "pushy".  I labored on all fours on the floor for a while, then agreed to have a vaginal check and was almost fully dilated.  They had me move to the bed, midwife pulled the lip of my cervix over baby, and when she came out, she came flying out!  I birthed Natalia on all fours, leaning on a yoga ball, and the placenta was delivered with me in a squat.

I'm including a few shots from my labor, because I feel that this makes it real and normalizes birth.  As an aside, some of you may know that my PhD dissertation (which I opted not to complete) was initially about the medicalization of childbirth in pregnancy magazines.  So I think it is good to expose what delivering a baby can be like, especially for anyone curious about what birthing at home might look like.  For the purposes of this blog, I kept the images as PG as possible while still attempting to provide a glimpse into the hours preceding Natalia's birth.
Laboring on "the throne" of all places.
Oscar providing counter pressure on my lower back during a contraction.
A break in pushing.  Oscar's mere presence was incredibly reassuring for me.



The following are images that capture Oscar's and my first reactions to seeing and holding our daughter.  Since I lost all inhibition during labor, it was difficult to find an image of the three of us that didn't also show a bit more of me than you all probably want to see ;)
 

Apparently, Natalia is a miracle baby in more ways than one.  She had her cord wrapped around her neck and torso, and the cord was not directly linked to the placenta, which is known as a velamentous cord insertion.  They asked if I had had any ultrasounds done, because this normally would've been found at the 20 week sono.  The problem is that if the veins and artery connecting the cord to the placenta happen to run over the cervix (vasa previa) instead of above the baby, then if the water breaks, the baby can cut off the blood supply and not survive birth.  Midwife was shocked that my last sono was just last week!  Oscar and I are just amazed at what a humongous blessing this baby is.

In this photo, we don't yet know if we have a girl or a boy.
We held Natalia for about an hour before finding out if we had a girl or a boy.  I finally cried when Oscar peeked and then introduced me to her by name.  We have a daughter!  That's when it became real for me.


I ended up getting a shot of pitocin to cut down on bleeding, a couple of pills under my tongue that were supposed to give me cramps to expel whatever may have been left of the cord/placenta in my uterus, which I think is what ended up giving me horrible chills, which then led to a fluid IV.   Luckily, I had a chance to hold Natalia for a bit before I started with the chills, and after that Daddy got lots of hands-on time with her because I was a hot mess, just laying there half asleep. My perineum stayed intact, but I got little tears on my labia, so I got a couple of stitches.

Weighing in at 5 pounds 10 ounces (she did not enjoy being weighed!)

I had just gotten belly henna done Sunday evening, on our way home from our Ignatian retreat.  I originally was going to get it the Friday after Thanksgiving, but something kept telling me that Natalia may be early. The henna artist advised me that it was unlikely that the henna would still be there for the Birth Day 2 weeks away, but I couldn't risk waiting too long.  So it was pretty cool that I got to have it done just on time after all.  I feel like so many things lined up for us!

My belly henna design.
Why did I get a henna tattoo?  I wanted a creative way to celebrate the new life growing inside of me, especially after all that we had been through to get to this point.  I requested the following features in my design:  lotus flower (the light within / the awakening of the human soul. Grace, beauty, creativity, sensuality, femininity, and purity); butterflies (which represent transformation, and I was being transformed from woman to mother, and Oscar from man to father - there are two butterflies, one on each end of the design); flowers (for joy and happiness); paiseleys (representing fertility and good luck); and vines and leaves (longevity, devotion, perseverance, entwined lives and vitality).




Day after birth.
Our midwife and birth assistant stayed until about 4 in the morning.  They cleaned up, started a load of laundry, and after doing a medical check on both me and Natalia, they left.  Our midwife returned the next evening for a follow-up visit, and our birth assistant made a house call that Friday.  It was incredible to have these visits at home and not have to lug baby and myself around.

We did have to take Natalia to see her pediatrician on day 3, and I did not enjoy that.  I was a hot mess still, walking around in my workout clothes/pjs, my special postpartum underwear peaking out (lol).  I don't understand why it's not standard protocol for pediatricians to make house calls for that first checkup.  I could have sent Oscar by himself with Natalia, but I couldn't imagine being apart from my little girl.  I needed first-hand knowledge that all was well per the pediatrician.  That, and of course I had to be available to nurse Natalia whenever her tiny little tummy got hungry.  Oscar, bless his heart, was trying to cover us up as I would just whip out a boob and try to latch Natalia on.  (A big reason for why we wanted no visitors in those first couple of weeks.  Natalia and I needed to get acquainted and learn how to breastfeed.  When that ideal went out the window, I had to accept letting relatives see her, since who knew how long it would be before we were nursing the way I had hoped and envisioned.)

My first impressions of Natalia:  She's so tiny!  Has a balding head and crossed eyes, oh no! (lol)  Smiling already?!  And oh my goodness, she has dimples!!!
Natalka was born smiling, here grinning for her birth announcement. See the dimples?

NOTE: To read Antonio's birth story, go here.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Why Do You Do That? (Co-Sleeping)



I was going to say that I’ll try not to make this blog controversial, but who are we kidding?  If I’m being true to myself, I’m bound to be controversial, right? ;)  So here goes.

4. Bed-sharing.  You may have heard the term "cosleeping" instead.  Technically, bed-sharing is a type of cosleeping, but cosleeping does not necessarily mean baby is in the big bed with mom and/or dad.  If baby is in a bassinet next to the parents' bed, this is considered cosleeping.
Natalia in a rare moment of calm in her bassinet.
This was our goal - to have Natalia in a separate little bed right next to our bed, where we could easily and quickly respond to her needs at night.  Except that she wouldn't let us put her down her first two weeks, and then spend the next 2 or so months tolerating nighttime sleep only in her swing as an alternative to being in our arms.  In order to try to regain some sanity and get sleep ourselves, we let her sleep in her swing in the same room as us.  I felt comfortable knowing she was safe away from all of my pillows and blankets, yet we could hear her early hunger cues and get her bottle ready before she started crying.  (Note this coincided with our heavy use of bottles and powder formula.)
The only sleep position tolerated by our little darling in the first two weeks.
In her trusted swing.
Playing possum... or freeze tag.
When we moved to our new apartment, she was approaching 3 months of age, and it finally felt safe for me to bring her next to me in the bed.  Now that we were breastfeeding full-time, having her next to me made nighttime feedings a cinch! When she starts to wiggle around, I reach over and help her latch on, and keep right on sleeping.  It's marvelous!  I get a ton more sleep than if I had to get up, and I know this because before I learned how to nurse lying down, I'd get up and sit in my nursing chair, put my nursing pillow on, and then feed her.  It was a whole production. But it's not just about my comfort.  She is happier too, knowing that mommy is right beside her.  I cannot imagine not being able to sleep with her by my side.

Snuggling for a nap.






Having said that, we are now helping her learn to take naps in her playpen.  Once she is sleeping through the night, or at least only waking once and letting mommy sleep in ;), we may likely start keeping her in the playpen overnight.  After all, as she gets bigger, her wiggles will inevitably turn into kicks and being elbowed out of a sound sleep doesn’t sound as lovey-dovey as a gentle baby hand reaching over in the middle of the night.


For the most part, Natalia has been using her playpen to fight - er, play with -  her Giffy Jr.



So, why do we share sleep?

Because it's more convenient for me to nurse her at night, and because we both prefer to snuggle close than to be separated from each other.

What's hodgepodge about that?

Well, we didn't start out sharing a bed, and we are starting to utilize her playpen for sleep as well.

Finally, while we are on the subject of sleep, I couldn't not share this image.


Like father, like daughter!





Friday, March 14, 2014

Folks, Meet Natalia (Photos)


Family and friends had to wait a couple of weeks before meeting our new arrival.  She came a bit early, it was the middle of flu season, and we just wanted a chance to bond with her a little first. Here are the folks Natalka met in December.  I love seeing the various reactions of people seeing her for the first time.  :)

Meeting my parents.

Babcia Hania

Dziadek Andrzej (Andy)
Meeting Oscar's mom.
Abuela Olivia
Natalia meeting her cousin Jade, Tia Yoli's daughter.
                                          
Tia Yoli, Oscar's sister.

With Tia Rosy, Oscar's cousin.

Meeting Auntie Klaudia, Karolina's sister.

Meeting her godmother, Courtney.

Meeting her godfather, Rob.
Of course, this isn't everyone.  Natalia hasn't met her uncle Karol (Karolina's brother) and cousin Andrew (Karol's son), nor has she met her uncle Elliott (Oscar's brother), Abuelo Henry (Oscar's dad), bisabuelo Yeyo (great-grandfather), or countless other aunts, uncles, and second cousins who live in Florida.... She also hasn't met her pra-babcia Musti (great-grandmother), auntie Jolka, or her second cousins on Karolina's side, most of whom live in Poland.

Tiny Feet (Photos)

Check out my handsome hubby with our squirmy wee one.

"Daddy, can you put me down now?"

Big or tiny feet?  You be the judge!

Taking a footprint...

...on her due date, December 7th...

...at 1 week 5 days old.
tah-dah!
By the way, Natalka has her mommy's toes!

Natalka's First Bath (Photos)

At birth, Natalia's vernix (a cottage-cheese like substance found on baby's skin starting in the third trimester) was gently rubbed into her skin. Why? "Vernix coating on the neonatal skin protects the newborn skin and facilitates extra-uterine adaptation of skin in the first postnatal week if not washed away after birth."
We waited until Natalka was a week old to give her her first bath.


Natalia's lanugo, tiny baby fur!

Unhappy about the water.

Can you spot the photographer here?

Tia Yoli loaned us her fancy camera, so Oscar got creative.

An early favorite.

I love this photo of mama and babe, all squeaky clean.


And three weeks later, we all braved the big, intimidating bathtub, and Daddy did the honors here.
Natalka goofing around.

Why Do You Do That? (Baby Wearing)



Baby-wearing has become quite trendy recently, with baby carriers appearing on various “must have” lists for expectant moms.  It’s part of attachment parenting due to the closeness it provides between parent and child.  

3. Baby-wearing. It's been utilized around the world throughout history, when women continued working while caring for their infants.  The idea is to keep baby close by at all times, in order to provide her with the reassurance of your presence, while at the same time leaving your hands free to do other things. It can be used in combination with skin-to-skin contact, and depending on the carrier, may make breastfeeding more convenient, as baby can nurse while mom's hands remain free.

Baby wearing is also very convenient in certain situations. On rugged terrain, for instance, maneuvering a stroller is more of a headache than simply walking, with baby in tow.  Jumping on and off the metro, running errands in an urban environment, hiking... these are some of the scenarios where baby wearing is really easier than pushing her in a stroller.
Natalia getting some outside time on our balcony.  You can see the dog park in the background.

She will only stay quiet in the stroller if I talk to her.

But other situations make the use of an infant car seat and/or stroller more feasible.  Whenever you have to spend any time in a car, it makes no sense to wake baby up while trying to move her from car seat to baby carrier and back again.  Coming home with a sleeping baby in a car seat provides a great opportunity to simply take baby into the bathroom with you and take a shower when you have the chance!

However, apparently some babies like being in a carrier more than others, and some carriers tickle baby's fancy more than others.  Natalia has her moments.  When we go for a walk as a family, she usually settles down for a nap either in a stroller or in a carrier.  Around the house, she rarely lets me wear her, even though in theory she should enjoy the closeness and the added perk of being higher up than in a swing, giving her a better view of everything.

We have three carriers, each with their own benefits and level of success. The Moby was supposed to be the only carrier we would need.  I did lots of research to find a carrier that would let us wear Natalia in different holds and grow with her.  In her early days, we did utilize it to help with skin-to-skin contact.  It’s a bit cumbersome to wrap, so we haven’t used it outside the house much.  

Skin-to-skin with daddy, week one.
 
See that little green hat?  That's Natalia!
 
The Bjorn we got I believe from Natalia’s cousin, Andrew :)  Oscar prefers this one, and since it requires various settings to fit properly, I don’t like messing with it to have it fit me.  Instead, this is the carrier we use when on walks, and Oscar wears Natalia.  

On a walk with Daddy.
There’s a third carrier, which I call a pocket carrier, that I got from my mom.  It was a bit tricky to put Natalia in it, as it’s literally like a pocket that doesn’t open, so you have to put it on baby as you would a pair of pants.  The ties are very long, like with the Moby, and I guess Natalia gets impatient with me trying to wrap them correctly once she’s already in.  Sometimes she settles in just fine, while other times she’s only in for 5 minutes and then insists on getting out.

Here we are on Natalia's first walk.  It was unseasonably warm in early December!


So why do we wear Natalia?

We find it more convenient in some circumstances, and we like the closeness to Natalia.

What’s hodgepodge about that?

Well, if you knew some of the gung-ho baby-wearing families out there, you’d see how much they can get done with baby in tow, versus how little we are able to use this tool.