A Response to Other Moms

In light of some recent (and not so recent) parenting opinions I've heard, both directed at me and not necessarily, I felt the need to respond.

The helicopter moms would have me shelter my children from any and all difficult subjects and situations.  I say my job as their mother is to prepare my kids for life.  I have to equip them with the skills and tools they need to deal with the inevitible negatives of life.  The worst thing I can do is pretend life is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and then 18 years later send them into the real world and cross my fingers that they don't encounter the big bad wolf.  Doing so would be doing them no favors.  I have to maintain a long-term perspective.

The status-quo moms would have me fall in line with all the various mainstream parenting philosophies and practices, if only so as not to stand out too much.  I say my job is to raise individuals, not robots.  We have our own family values and culture that I intend to pass on to my kids, and while not every decision we make will be understood by outsiders, it will never be a decision made lightly. At the forefront of these decisions is the lifestyle choice of homeschooling.  Believe me, I know what the alternatives are.

The secular moms would have me avoid "indoctrinating" my children so that they can choose their own belief system when they grow up.  I say, indoctrination will happen no matter what: society is in the business of indoctrination, primarily - though not exclusively - through the media.  I actually believe that my faith is something worth living and passing on to my kids.  I cannot control what they do or believe as adults, but I can certainly provide a foundation to build on.

The feminist moms would have me delegate childcare to someone else and go back to work, for fear of what I'm teaching my kids about the role of women by staying home with them.  I say I'm a career mom.  I take my role as mother seriously.  Many employees/business people attend conferences, read professional journals, take continuing education classes, network with colleagues, and try to stay relevant in their career field.  Guess what?  SO DO I!  Many moms I know do not bother to educate themselves on anything parenting-related.  They merely regurgitate what they see their peers doing, and question nothing.  I am working, thank you very much.  The fact that my work is devalued by society is quite another story altogether, one that any self-respecting feminist ought to seriously ponder.  Saint John Paul II said, "as the family goes, so goes the nation".  Just sayin.

Remember, when we criticize someone else, there's usually an element of ourselves in there that is making us uneasy and needing to compare and judge.